thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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