Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
