I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
