You're so nebulous sometimes
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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