Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
