ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
