Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
