The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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