im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
