come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
