thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
