he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
