I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
can u get pink eye on your cock?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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