I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
