I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
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