we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
