Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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