If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
