They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
