Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
