I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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