I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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