last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
well you can't waste a boner
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
