I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
