The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
My butt remains clenched, sir.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
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