weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
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