just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
