Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
he thought i was a dude.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
