He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
