Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
