Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
