He felt like a one man threesome
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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