So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
