New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
