Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
he fucked my hip out of place.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
