Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
