All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
operation have a gay friend backfired
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
