I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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