found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
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