hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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