I need help removing her.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
