Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
