Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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