chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
