You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
