I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
