When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
