your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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