Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Hippo gnu deer
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
