Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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